June 8, 2025 | #43 | read on The Happier Studio | Free Version
Welcome to The Happier Newsletter, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life.
What’s On Today
- The Autopilot Trap
- 3 Steps to Reclaim Control of Your Life
- Moving Forward: Your 60-Second Action Plan
The Autopilot Trap
Ever caught yourself arriving home with zero memory of the drive? That's autopilot and it's not just happening in your car. It's happening in your life.
Most of us aren't fully living. We're simply on autopilot:
Wake up. Shower. Work. Scroll. Sleep. Repeat.
This "autopilot trap" turns days into weeks and weeks into years. A blur of obligations where Monday becomes indistinguishable from Thursday. But the truly dangerous part? We don't even realise we're caught in it.
The human brain is wired to conserve energy, to create routines, form habits, and default to familiar patterns. That’s how it keeps us alive with minimal effort.
But in a world that constantly demands our attention, that same wiring can backfire, making it easier to coast through life than to consciously design it.
And beyond our brain’s energy-saving defaults, there are invisible forces that keep this cycle going:
- Cultural scripts that define “success” as money, status, and productivity
- Beliefs we inherited but never questioned about what a good life should look like
- A society that praises hustle and busyness over purpose and presence
- Technology designed to hijack your attention, not improve your wellbeing
Before long, we're following predetermined paths without asking the essential question: Is this what I actually want?
And the cost for doing so is far higher than most realise. Research shows that people who live on autopilot report:
- Lower satisfaction with their relationships
- Less fulfillment in their careers
- Difficulty remembering key moments in their lives
- A pervasive feeling that time is accelerating as they age
But there 's good news: You can break free with three specific steps.
3 Steps to Reclaim Control of Your Life
Most people don’t need a total life overhaul, they just need to wake up from the script they’ve been following. Here’s how to start living with intention again.
Step 1: Disrupt Your Patterns
The first step to escaping autopilot is creating pattern interrupts, which are deliberate breaks from your habitual routines.
Think of it like shocking your system awake. Here are three powerful ways to do it:
1. Create physical interruptions.
Small environmental changes signal your brain to pay attention:
- Take a different route to work
- Rearrange your workspace
- Turn off all notifications for 3 hours
2. Schedule daily reflection.
Even 10 minutes of thinking time helps to create clarity to what actually matters to you. Ask yourself:
- "What am I taking for granted right now?"
- "Where am I operating on default settings?"
- "If I were advising myself, what would I say?"
3. Create novel experiences.
Your brain forms new neural connections when you experience novelty. Try:
- Learning a new skill for just 15 minutes
- Having a conversation with someone outside your usual circle
When you interrupt autopilot, you create space to make conscious choices rather than react to whatever comes your way.
Step 2: Identify and Rewire Limiting Beliefs
Autopilot doesn't just happen, it's maintained by invisible limiting beliefs that act like guardrails keeping you on a predetermined track.
These thoughts seem like objective reality but they're actually stories you've internalised:
- "I don't have time for what really matters"
- "Changing now would be irresponsible"
- "I'll focus on what I want after I achieve X"
- "People like me don't do things like that"
The key to dismantling these beliefs:
1. Make Your Beliefs Visible.
Write down what's keeping you in your current patterns. Getting these thoughts on paper immediately shrinks their power, moving them from shadows into light.
Try this: "I'm staying in autopilot because I believe _______."
2. Find the Real Fear.
Ask: "What am I actually afraid would happen if I changed this pattern?" Is it failure? Disapproval? Uncertainty?
Most autopilot behaviours protect us from one of these core fears:
- Fear of inadequacy ("I'd fail")
- Fear of rejection ("They'd judge me")
- Fear of the unknown ("What if it's worse?")
3. Reframe as a Problem to Solve.
Transform "I don't have time" into "How could I restructure my priorities to create space for what matters?"
Convert "It's too late to change" into "What small experiment would help me test this new direction?"
This reframing turns paralyzing beliefs into practical challenges and practical challenges have solutions.
Step 3: Design Your Intentionality System
The most fulfilled people I know have systematized intentionality. Here's how to build your own system:
1. Guard Your Priorities.
Your calendar reveals your true values. Is it filled by design or by default?
- Schedule your top 3 priorities first each week
- Create boundaries around technology use
- Establish "no meeting" blocks for deep work
- Set a timer when using social apps
2. Build Reflection Rituals.
Integrate regular check-ins to prevent slipping back into autopilot:
- Morning journal: "What matters today?"
- Commute reflection: "What am I grateful for?"
- Evening review: "Where was I present/absent today?"
- Weekly planning: "Am I moving toward what matters?"
3. Create Accountability.
We can't always see our own autopilot patterns:
- Share your intentions with a trusted friend
- Join a community with similar values
- Hire a coach or find a mentor
- Track your progress visibly
The most powerful part of this system? It compounds. Each day you live intentionally makes the next day easier. Small shifts in awareness create massive changes over time.
Moving Forward: Your 60-Second Action Plan
The difference between reading this newsletter and actually changing your life comes down to immediate action.
Right now, before your brain slips back into autopilot, take 60 seconds to:
- Identify one autopilot pattern you want to change this week
- Schedule one 15-minute reflection block in your calendar
- Write down one limiting belief you suspect is keeping you stuck
Then tomorrow, disrupt that pattern, use that reflection time, and question that belief.
Remember: The goal isn't perfection. The goal is awareness. Because you can't change what you don't notice.
And life is too short to live on autopilot.
