May 11, 2025 | #39 | read on The Happier Studio | Free Version
Welcome to The Happier Newsletter, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life.
What’s On Today
- The Stories We Tell Ourselves
- 7 Powerful Lessons From Running
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Last week, I crossed the finish line of my second half marathon with a time of 2 hours and 55 minutes, 13 minutes faster than my first race 1 year ago.
But the real story isn't about running at all.
For 15 years, I lived constrained by a narrative I created after dislocating my kneecap twice and undergoing surgery at age 15. As a teenager, I played baseball at the national level and dreamed of competing in collegiate softball in America before studying medicine.
When injury shattered those plans, I told myself a story about limitation that went unchallenged for 15 years.
The story was simple yet powerful: "My athletic days are over. My body can't handle intense physical activity anymore."
That belief became my reality. I quit sports completely, not because I didn’t love it, but because I believed I couldn’t do it properly anymore. No challenge, no fun, no point.
It wasn't until I turned 30 that I finally started questioning my life and whether this limitation existed beyond my mind.
What if it had been in my head all along?
So, when I signed up for my first half marathon in 2024, it wasn't just about finishing a race. It was about testing the boundaries of a story that had defined me for too long, and inadvertently rewiring neural pathways that had been strengthening for 15 years.
7 Powerful Lessons From Running
Over the last 1.5 years, running has pushed me to confront my limits, rethink my identity, and build a different relationship with discipline, progress, and self-belief. And along the way, I uncovered some powerful lessons that go far beyond running shoes and race medals.
Here are 7 powerful insights I gained from running that have nothing to do with running:
1. Identity goals beat outcome goals
At the start of my training, the goal was simple: finish a half marathon.
But somewhere along the way, I realised I was chasing more than a finish line. I wasn’t just trying to run 21 kilometres. I was becoming the kind of person who shows up, who keeps promises to herself, who doesn’t accept old limitations as facts.
This shift from focusing on the outcome to identity, changed everything.
Instead of thinking, “I need to run today so I can complete the race,” I started thinking, “I’m a runner now. I take care of my body. I do hard things.”
The actions stayed the same, but the why behind them became much more powerful.
James Clear writes about this in Atomic Habits: outcome goals like “lose 10 kilos” or “run 21K” can spark motivation, but they don’t last. Identity goals, on the other hand, transform how you see yourself. And once your actions align with who you believe you are, consistency becomes second nature.
So ask yourself: Are you setting goals to achieve something once… or to become someone for good?
2. Lay one brick at a time
When I began training, the full plan overwhelmed me. 21.1K? Impossible for my "bad knee."
But I didn't need to run 21K that first day, just 10 minutes of movement.
The secret to achievement: You never do everything, just the next thing.
The key question isn't "How will I reach my goals?" but "What's my next small step?"
3. Growth happens at the edge of discomfort
After weeks of training, blisters, an injured knee, and plantar fasciitis, there came a moment when everything in me wanted to quit. But I’ve learned something: transformation happens right where it hurts.
That kind of discomfort isn’t a sign to stop, it’s a sign you’re doing something that matters. Struggle, when chosen, is what shapes you. It’s how you grow stronger, inside and out.
So let me ask you: Where are you avoiding the kind of discomfort that leads to real growth?
4. Proving yourself wrong is liberating
"I can't run with my knee" wasn't just a thought, it was my reality for 15 years until I proved it wrong.
There's something profoundly freeing about disproving a limiting belief. It's like discovering a wall that confined you was made of paper all along.
Ask yourself: "What if I'm wrong about what I can't do?"
5. You never know what's possible until you try
Imagine if I'd continued believing my knee couldn't handle running, how many experiences would I have missed?
Research shows we're terrible predictors of our capabilities. We consistently overestimate negative impacts and underestimate our ability to adapt.
Your predictions about limitations are just that, predictions, not facts. Instead of saying "I can't," try "Let's find out."
6. Run your own race
During my race, I watched younger runners sprint past with perfect form while I pounded along awkwardly.
But here's the thing: Everyone else's race is irrelevant to yours.
Roosevelt had it right: "Comparison is the thief of joy." When I focused on others, my motivation crashed. When I focused on beating my previous time, my energy soared.
The only meaningful comparison is to your past self. Whose race are you accidentally running?
7. There are more doors to open
This question haunts me in the best way: If I was wrong about my knee for 15 years… what else might I be wrong about?
When you push past one limitation, it often unlocks courage in other parts of your life too. It’s like proving to yourself, “Maybe I’m more capable than I thought.”
Now, I make it a habit to ask: What doors have I closed too soon? And what dreams have I labelled “Not for me”?
Because the most life-changing paths are often the ones we quietly ruled out, without ever really trying.
Rewriting Your Stories
The most powerful discovery from my running journey wasn't about physical endurance, it was about the stories we tell ourselves and how they shape our reality.
Your brain is constantly writing narratives based on past experiences, and these stories become self-fulfilling prophecies. They determine what you attempt, what you avoid, what you believe is possible.
But here's the liberation in disguise: You can rewrite those stories.
Not through positive thinking or empty affirmations, but through direct experimentation. Through proving your limiting beliefs wrong with evidence. Through challenging the boundaries you've set for yourself.
So this week, I invite you to identify one story you've been telling yourself that might be limiting you. One door you've closed prematurely. And then design a small experiment to test whether that story is actually true.
Because the most dangerous limitations aren't the ones imposed on us by the world, they're the ones we impose on ourselves through the stories we choose to believe.
